Want Great Relationships? Check your Relationship Intelligence

We all know that relationships are the foundation for success both in work and in life. This post is about helping you create a strategy for developing Great Relationships. My good friend and executive coach Cecilia Rose calls it Relationship Intelligence. Cecilia says to think of relationships like a tree. The deeper the roots the sweater the fruit. Great relationships bring us joy, success and they make our lives richer. Great relationships open doors, inspire us, and lead us in new directions.

I want more Great Relationships- How about you?


Respect is the foundation for all relationships. Think about it, initially a relationship starts with a connection to a commonality and then how a person comes off.  You want to spend time with, share ideas with, and introduce to others those people that you respect, and it all starts with how you “show–up.”  The way you treat me matters.  The way you dress matters.  Your language matters. Etiquette matters. Starting a relationship is always easier when we engage with those that we respect!  “Birds of a feather…”

Trust comes next. We might respect you but do we trust you?  Trust grows or diminishes with your behaviors.   Do you keep your promises? Can we count on you? How often do you make excuses or bow out? Do you share? How generous are you with your time? Are you collaborative? Do you listen? How’s your follow-through?

And then there’s the quality issue.

Value is where we want to land! Do you value me, my ideas, my opinions, and my presence? Value means that you are an “Influencer” you have suggestions, ideas and solutions.  Not only is it worth my time to be with you but when the interaction is over I leave better.

When you are with an Influencer always try and tap into that little nugget of information, the  gift or idea, that spark that moves you to the next level… and remember to thank them.

Building Business Relationships

Today it really doesn’t matter who the client is, everyone wants me to speak on the value of building relationships. HR professionals, financial advisors, internal auditors, government employees, oil and gas executives, women in business – almost everyone is interested in suggestions on how to build better business relationships.

The two personal attributes that I feel are the most important factors in building relationships are self confidence and a sense of responsibility.

It takes a confident person to speak up, speak out and often times put yourself in situations that feel uncomfortable. Not many of us enjoy going to an event where we do not know anyone, or introducing yourself to the President of your company while sharing an elevator ride up to the 20th floor.  You have to talk otherwise you look like a dufus!

The second attribute is having a sense of personal responsibility. I hate to admit but I have burned a few bridges in my day. Here are some of the things that kill business relationships.

  • Not returning phone calls
  • Not returning emails
  • Ignoring referrals made by clients and associates
  • Not thanking someone for a lead or a great idea
  • Being late or even missing an appointment and not apologizing
  • Paying venders late
  • Squabbling over a few dollars
  • Missing opportunities to congratulate or compliment
  • Failing to introduce someone

Relationships require putting you into the equation.  Speaking up and taking responsibility are the first steps.

More to come tomorrow…